Some individuals embrace materialism not out of intellectual conviction, but out of cowardice about facing God.
I won't say that's true of all, but it was true in my case.
In my case it was all too convenient "look at me, look how I'm just one wretched thing, one wretched thing among many, look how I dwell on a pit, look how it is a good thing!"
That was merely cope, to know myself wretched and miserable, yet to convince myself nothing about it could be done. Nothing but commiserate with others experiencing the same misery.
Yet so it happens there's another way, if I say "My existence is without ground" God says "I'm the ground."
And only now, after having been in error for so long and having done so many wretched things out of error, only now does it strike me as a formidable thing.
And so it is that I've said all I had to say on the matter. I'm allowing this website to stay up, as a testament to my folly. But no more should be said at the present time.
Perhaps one last word of warning: in my travails I've embraced every extreme form of ideology. It now dawns on me that whatever ideology that promises salvation to only an elect, be it in the basis of creed, race, or belonging to this or that Identity group, it is cultish in practice, no matter how secularized its languages and myths might be, and ultimately demonic. All this is contrary to God's Will, who by Grace draws everyone to His presence. I do not wish to debate this. I merely wish to express a personal revelation on one hand, and to express my regret regarding all the excesses I've committed in my life on the other.
Nor should I be misunderstood in one ground: all forms of oppression, of which there remains much in this world, should be fiercely combated, of this I remain convinced. Today's unjust, carceral system it's man made, and it remains up to us to change it.
With all being said, farewell